Thankful Thursday 7

As promised on Monday - Owen's art. This is a very small sample size of the things my second child creates. When asked during the holidays for a gift idea for Owen, I literally said paper, glue, tape, and some sort of medium for creating. Some days, iit's all he needs.

T-Rex: Artist's comments - "He's nice. If you need help getting a star on the Christmas tree, he will do it."

Farmer: Artist's comments - "If you need him for a scarecrow, he will do it. He's a scarecrow. He picks apples."

Girl T-Rex: Artist's comments - "She has lots of hair. She really loves apples. Her favorite color is red. She has spikey hands."

Sign: Artist's comments - "That's for Evelyn."

Fireworks: Artist's comments - "Those are for 4th of July. If you light them, they shoot bullets and come out the little spikes."

Evelyn: Artist's comments - "She has a spotted shirt. She has a lot of hair. She's standing outside."

Monday Mumbles 32

1. Since before I was a parent, I said I wanted our home to be "the home" where kids gathered. This desire serves several selfish purposes, primarily feeding my need to control. In a subtle way, not in a crazy neurotic way. Promise. Now that Turner is of the age to entertain, I am gently pushing to fulfill this "want".

2. Let me quickly explain my neuroses. I like to have my children around me. I like to watch them interact and I can gauge their development. I hope the more they allow me to be "around" during their socializing, they realize I am here more to oversee and guide than I am to hinder and overbear. My goal is that this realization will lead to more openness and trust.

3. One thing I've gained by attempting to fulfill this "want", and is a surprising benefit, is insight into only children and their ability or inability to interact with siblings. Some crave the chance to be a big brother and jump into playtime with Owen and Evelyn. Others get flustered and frustrated with the constant nuisance and need a few visits to get comfortable. Ultimately though, kids adapt to one another quite quickly and easily. If only adults could retain these traits.

4. Owen's reading is coming along. I can tell the effort to sound things out is coming easier to him. He still visits the safe seat at school occasionally.

5. Evelyn appears to be more willing to do her lessons with Hubs during the day. Getting this last child over the hump of learning letters and numbers is painful but necessary. PAINFUL BUT NECESSARY.

6. Turner continues to be 98% self-directed, and 2% limit tester. I need that 2% to remind me he requires lessons about behavior, about life.

7. I think I'm overdue for a Thankful Thursday. This week might be a tribute to Owen's art. Check in Thursday.

8. Cold weather sucks.

9. I know I've discussed my literary progress on Mumbles before, and admitted my lack of Hunger Games reading. I have book one waiting patiently for me on my shelf finally. However, I am here to announce I've finally made it more than halfway through Game of Thrones, book 5. I wouldn't say 2/3, but definitely more than 1/2. :)

10. Sunny days make me feel more productive. We better get more of them, and soon.

Monday Mumbles 31

1. "And so we've come here today to dramatize a shameful condition."

2. "But we refuse to believe that the bank of justice is bankrupt."

3. "We have also come to this hallowed spot to remind America of the fierce urgency of Now."

4. "This is no time to engage in the luxury of cooling off or to take the tranquilizing drug of gradualism."

5. "The whirlwinds of revolt will continue to shake the foundations of our nation until the bright day of justice emerges."

6. "Let us not seek to satisfy our thirst for freedom by drinking from the cup of bitterness and hatred. We must forever conduct our struggle on the high plane of dignity and discipline."

7. "Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends."

8. "I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character."

9. "With this faith, we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood."

10. I Have a Dream speech, Martin Luther King, Jr. August 28, 1963. To my little babes, his dream is our dream, your dream, and becoming your reality. Live, learn, and love little babes.

Get Write Wednesday 7

"This era of instant gratification is hurting our ability to parent and weakening our discernment for timing."

I tweeted this sentiment. It dawned on me, at the time of this thought's conception, what it is about parenting today that drives me insane. And that isn't to suggest I don't fall into this category as well. I'm sure I do at times.

Instant gratification.

But not so fast. Your mind went straight to the kids, didn't it? That they're the generation of "I see, I want, I get." While yes, this is definitely cause for concern, the recipient of the gratification I'm talking about isn't the child. It's the parent.

Parents simply cannot wait anymore. In fact, maybe this "generation" of children isn't the first casualty of Instant Gratification, the disease. Maybe it's mine. It's my peer group who just can't wait to find out the sex of their child, after all. Mine that has discovered the art of job hopping as a career as opposed to loyalty and stability with a company they believe in. All because we can.

So while we point at people's children (not our own, surely! They're angels.) and suggest that they've been spoiled to the point of no return, we should reflect on what part we may have played. I'm sorry, what part "their parents" may have played. And for this game, let's leave the standard materialistic discussions at the door.

Thinking aloud, it seems as if we have a need as parents today to experience our child experiencing every conceivable experience as soon as humanly possible. Have you heard those pre-school moms talking about their child's boyfriend or girlfriend? Or worse, heard them gossiping about the boyfriends and girlfriends WITH their child? When did it become okay to encourage our children to contemplate pubescent emotions and concepts at age 4?

Oh, that's right. The instant WE thought it was cute.

What about those five year olds who attend live music concerts? Five year old girls who attend Justin Bieber, to be even more explicit. Justin, since the age of his fame, hasn't been appropriate for five year olds. Yet, mothers want to experience their darling daughters having those mega music star crushes like we did as teenagers for the likes of Donnie and Jordan. You know who I'm talking about too, don't lie.

But honestly, do you think the madly deeply rock star crush belongs to a five year old or maybe...just maybe....it's our inability to just wait. Waiting to let these types of experiences play out gradually, in due time, is a lost art. We just jump on the first wagon full of "sounds like a good idea" folks and join in. I don't pretend it isn't hard when all the others are doing it. That's an age-old concept and I get it. It IS hard to tell your child no when all the other parents are saying yes. But maybe we need to. Say no. Just say no sometimes.

We might have been the first generation to be told, "Share your feelings. Talk it out. Don't be afraid of who you are and letting others see the real you."

This has helped us perfect the ability to grasp for gratification. We've just taken it too far. Not only do we use this on our spouses, friends and colleagues but we use it on our children. We share who WE are, and we share and we share and we share with these children. And we need more, and we share more, and we never wait to do it.

Parenting has become about us. And our wants and our feelings and our need for instant gratification through the eyes of our children. We no longer just treasure the innocence but pull and tug for the next best and greatest accomplishment or milestone our child can fulfill. I suppose that's the point of my rambling. It's about us. And it shouldn't be. We have to learn to step aside and just let them experience life instead of always pushing life onto them. Guide and probe and steer at times, but never push.

And above all else, think. We must start thinking more and doing and saying less. Think about the things they say, intuit the things they feel, and prepare for the things they will WANT to experience but allow it to develop. And while you wait, envelope yourself in the joy of waiting.

Monday Mumbles 30

1. I keep finding ways to clean the house and rid myself of clutter. It's a very slow process, but every weekend seems to result in something leaving the house for good. It FEELS good.

2. My mom wanted to get out of her house this weekend and said as much Friday. We exchanged text messages and decided we would take the kids to a movie and then watch the KU basketball game at our house. The kids love having Grandma over.

3. To keep the productivity going, I ALSO scrapbooked most of Owen's 5th birthday. What that means is, I have about two more pages and I'll be all caught up with at least ONE child. Yea me!

4. Evelyn loves to shop. Seriously loves to shop. What's good about this is that it's still just about "getting out and about", and not at all about actually purchasing anything. Especially for herself. She's just happy to be out, at a store, in a cart, holding items we may or may not purchase.

5. Literally, she does not wear out when we're out shopping. We're talking grocery store or clothing, she's just HAPPY.

6. Have I told you that Owen is an artist? His favorite Special Class is Art. At home, he's content with paper, markers or crayons, and tape. Glue sticks or glue preferable as well. I love that his imagination keeps him busy.

7. Turner counts things. Finds patterns in numbers. He can tell you how many red cars we might have driven by, if you suggested he do it on a given day. We just had a discussion on why people will call 1,100 eleven hundred, but 1,000 is always a thousand. I decided to explain that people prefer less syllables. I think it's a dandy reasoning explanation.

8. "It's so fluffy, I'm gonna die!!!!!!!" If you haven't seen Despicable Me, do it. Agnes steals the show for me. I personally think the three girls are a dead ringer for my three. I feel as if I mumbles about this already, but oh well. Margo is the no-nonsense practical sort (Turner), Edith is trouble with humor (Owen), and Agnes is dramatic but adorable (Evelyn).

9. I believe we reached 50 degrees Sunday. I was in heaven, and that is sad. Winter has been a beast already.

10. We kill TVs around here and somehow my dad keeps finding the old dinosaur box TVs to replace them. We just killed another Sunday. Burnt. Smelled burnt. We're down to a very fuzzy, off color, sometimes fades in and out box. Time to break down and get something decent. Now if I could just get a nice tax refund.....

Tuesday Owenisms 15

Sissy told me that if she says bad words and I give her a whoopin', she'll still love me.

How sweet, and slightly disturbing, I thought.

Owen pipes up to let everyone know that they shouldn't say bad words, unless they're saying something good. You know, like,

" 'Bad word', that was a good show."

" 'Bad word, that place was so fun!"

So there you have it. Rules for swearing by Owen. Consider yourself warned.